RAW Emotion: Honestly Part 2

Now that a few of my lowlights from the RAW 2012 were shown and expressed in Part 1 (quite cathartic), there were indeed some highlights. It took some raw feeling and surrender of emotion on my part to get over my deep annoyance and disappointment this year. This was my only show scheduled this year so far and the rust had set deeper than I anticipated. Was this another cosmic test or sign to see how badly I still wanted to be and make it as an artist? Is this why there were real and ugly road blocks and multi-leveled personality challenges in my path? I changed my attitude so I could find and strike a balance and put a positive mental spin on all this. Had to. I was really hurting inside (and apparently still am as I write this on my pity pot.) This process was actually my Nirvana moment. 

My sales were not what they were last year at all. I had to make this show less about the money to boost my spirits. It was seeing dear friends who came and found their way to our location, witnessing the smiles and AHA!s my work put on people's faces, making new connections and meeting these cuties and real art aficionados:

The child?!! on the right, who is wise beyond her years and stunned me with her maturity and knowledge about art and other things, was looking at my work, loved it and paused. She proceeded to tell me how she had seen a character style like this before somewhere, that someone else was doing this and it came together. Her family owns one of my Take-Out menu boxes, the ones I no longer make. She was so excited. Me too.

I shared space with Erin Rossi Designs, Twisted Sisters, jewelry artist Elyse Umlauf-Garneau and these two beautiful jewelry artists. We bonded so well, bent some elbows and became "family", Malgorzata Petr of GOSIA Jewelry  with her sculptor artist husband Dandee, and Laura Garza of http://www.organicajewelry.carbonmade.com.  So much so that we plan to discuss the possibility of doing our own venue together to show our work.

It does sadden me though when I look at the pictures and the press that others recently posted on FB where there was life and where they seemed supported by their hosts. A genuine sign of community that we lacked.

“Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look.”~ Pema Chodron. 

The point isn’t to wallow or feel overwhelmed with the parts that aren’t all happy and shiny. The point is to look at them, to sit with them, because they are part of who we are.

I felt more raw than I expected and can now only move on and forward. I am proud of myself that I worked and processed through some of my "ego demons."  I now welcome the growth and that I passed my own self-made tests.