Artists Are Friends and Personal Heroes

I did not get into the Bucktown ArtsFest. Certainly I'm disappointed, but not devastated. I am fine. I'll live. I let myself feel what I needed and released what I needed to release. It did not take long. I knew immediately where to turn for a little cheering up, perspective and a laugh as soon as I heard: an artist. I emailed this artist and personal artist hero right away with the news and she did not let me down. In addition to her words which I am sharing, with her permission, she also sent me two hilarious video clips which I was going to include but thought otherwise. Let her words resonate. We can all benefit, artist or not.

It's time to add to my personal Personal Artist Heroes list which already includes Anne Leuck Feldhaus and Melissa Banks.  Let me introduce you once AGAIN to Jennifer Meyer. (If you click on Again, you will see Anne, Melissa and Jennifer from last year's Bucktown ArtsFest. Funny how it all falls together.) She is a therapist by profession and an extraordinary, compassionate, sensitive, sarcastic, articulate, talented, wise, spiritual human being and "will be there for you" artist. Not to overlook AMAZING sculptor and welder. She does not have website otherwise you can be sure I would direct you to it. I love having her as a friend and newest inductee into my personal artist hero group.

Jennifer's reply message to me:
 
I am so regretful that you received such disappointment on this beautiful day. It was not what you hoped for, visualized or affirmed in your mind and that hurts. And shocks a little too when we practice sending good energy out there and anticipating that it will return in a rewarding way somehow. I still believe in that concept, but I also believe that the good energy often gets returned in unexpected, rather than expected ways.

I imagine you are confused and feeling some self doubt. Thinking abut the money you spent on the professional photographs. Oh and the list can go on for miles, but try not to take it personally. Speaking as one who has payed to be rejected, over and over and over again, I have learned to feel the feelings for a day and then to work diligently at letting it go. IT IS NOT YOU OR YOUR ARTWORK BEING REJECTED. It is the fickleness of jurors, it is too many returning artists, it is the committee not wanting too much change, it is that your artwork reminded one of the jurors of the woman her husband slept with that landed her in divorce court, it is a hundred things that we will never know.

What we do know is that we are sensitive creatives and we have no choice but to express ourselves in ways other than language. Rejection is a simple fact of life, but something artists experience more than others because we are always putting our selves out there, and more often.

I am truly sad for your disappointment, yet also believe that it just was not meant, for reasons yet to be revealed. I hope it eases your sting a little when I reveal that so far this year I have been rejected by one art fair and three public art venues. And you know what I say? I say, " awwww, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke". And the weird thing is then I feel better. So if you need a mantra to get through you can borrow mine.

Breathe peace and keep creating, it is what you are meant to do, not to obsess over what is not.

Jennifer Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
******
Twenty four hours later, after borrowing and effectively chanting her mantra 108 times (actually used Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha,) I've moved on.  I wasn't angry. I was down a little but I'm not out. I have work to do.

Thank you Jennifer !!!!

Judging By The Looks of Things

So what if took 3 months, 4 separate photo shoots for the same paintings, 3 photographers, emotional madness, delays, missed deadlines, and additional expense to have my work shown in the best light and image, figuratively and literally, so be it. I have emerged a happier artist. Lemme tell ya....

 

Before -Take 1

Work in Progress shot by Moi

I take most of my own photographs for my blog and my personal Facebook page. I try to use as many professional photographs on my Fan page on Facebook, which you can LIKE by clicking here (PLEASE, if you don't mind my asking) and my website. For alternative marketing and show applications, I definitely want professional photographers and images. I need and rely on their expertise, knowledge and guidance to help me reach the level I want and need to go.

I'll shoot a work-in-progress shot (see Geisha above), an event, or perhaps some test shots myself so I can see where my hot or ugly spots are and where tweaking is needed. I point and shoot with my lower end Canon digital camera. And IF by a twist of fate, luck and light they should come out fairly well, I will use those shots on my website too! The paintings on the right sidebar of this blog are ones I shot. The bracelets and boxes were professionally shot. I have thought many a time about purchasing a better camera and doing this myself, but right now my plate is full.

After - Shoot # 4
Professionally shot:

Marilyn Grad Copyright @2012

Lighting and angle shots were two of several sources of my madness from both shoots. I use a high gloss varnish which most often results in a lot of glare and "hot" areas. Color was also an issue. I have worked with one of the photographers for nearly three years and we have developed a trust and confident relationship especially where bracelets and boxes were the subject. My paintings were new territory for both of us this time. I mentioned my applications and how I wanted them shot: on a white background and/or a wall.

The very first shoot the photographer and I agreed the lighting was terrible and a new piece of equipment was needed and was ordered.  A new shoot was rescheduled for the following week. We agreed that I would leave my art at the studio and he would go ahead and shoot it in my ABSENCE to make up for lost time and expense. I will tell you now THAT WAS A MISTAKE.  I ended up with shots I couldn't use and angles that did not capture the details of certain paintings.  I take responsibility for taking the gamble. It sounded great at the time.

I do not want sound like or appear to be an Artistzilla (imagine a bridezilla for which I have no experience, for artists), or a control freak (I do have experience at that) nor do I EVER want to be become one during shoots. Sometimes it is necessary. Everybody sees different things. My paintings and personal reinvention are new for me which makes me anxious and excited and I just want to do it right. I am going to be judged in some way based on these images. Right now I'm doing a lot of the judging before anyone else and feeling rather insecure.

 Before Shoot # 2:
professionally shot

Marilyn Grad Copyright @2012

If you look toward the top of the green stone and also the top right top corner of the inset canvas you may, or may not, notice some exposed glue. I did as soon as I got home and I uploaded my disc. The photographer didn't catch it or maybe he did and just wanted to get this job over with.  The color was off so I tweaked this again at home.  I saw other flaws that I made that the camera picked up. I did not like how I painted the Buddha, there was an ugly spot on the canvas that needed touching up. I know that is what Photoshop, or in my case free and downloadable Photoscape is for, but there were other things.

After - Shoot # 4
Professionally shot 

Marilyn Grad Copyright @2012

By shoot #4, I just wanted this photographic gestation period done. Up until shoot #4, I had done more research and started reaching out for additional resources online and in the art community which was nurturing and helpful. I studied the photographs of other artists and their websites and asked via email who shot their work. I created two new paintings, tweaked some other paintings a little more and worked on my self-deprecating inner dialogue. It's hard being in my head sometimes.

Long story short, I ended up going back to my original photographer for several reasons. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Just the photographs. I stated again EXACTLY what I wanted. I asked to see some of the shots in the camera during the shoot to check on angles and lighting. It worked. The photographer taught me some new things.

 

Marilyn Grad Copyright@2012

With this now complete and my lessons learned, I am ready to confidently proceed and get my work out there. I will know by next week if I got into the Bucktown ArtsFest. Keeping my fingers crossed. I have new copy and descriptions to write for my website. I am also in the process of taking a course in writing a better blog so that I can connect and grow a wider audience. By the looks of things, I shall be splendidly busy. I also hope you won't judge me too harshly after this and will still LIKE me on Facebook using this link.