and reality checks in:
I have been disconnected from my art these past couple weeks. I barely painted.Thought about it a lot though. I attempted blogging only to find myself revising and saving mucho drafts. Didn't want to commit to or advertise those thoughts. My artistic passion has ebbed for the moment and it feels terrible.
I can attribute some of it to a main shift in priorities. I started a new job last month which is great. With that comes news hours, new procedures, learning and adjusting to new routines and regimens. This, at the present moment, is my main source of income.
The other is ego interference. My goal is to be a full time artist. The reality is I'm not. I need the wind back in my sails and SALES to achieve that goal and vision. I admit I haven't been as aggressive marketing as I used to be and definitely SHOULD be. I am in the process of changing my work and ideas, assessing what worked, what didn't and what I need to do to make new things happen. I am confident it will come together and determined to make it happen.
In the meantime, I'll feel what I'm feeling and do what I need to do. Reality checks are good and necessary. Biweekly paychecks are great. Admitting where I am right now is uncomfortable and humbling.
It is important to express yourself.....provided the feelings are real and taken from your own experience.
This will be a completed post. Besides, I used up my draft allowance for April.
Marilyn, be kind to yourself. Even as a full time artist I often feel like I barely paint...and sometimes wonder if I would create more if I had another job and I wasn't doing all the other stuff keeping this ship afloat requires! This is where the daily sketch book page comes in handy, at least there I do create (almost every day). The grass really is greener on both sides of the fence.
ReplyDeleteMarilyn! If you don' stop beating yourself up,
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna punch you, LOL.
Nothing good comes easy, right?
Remember, almost everyone feels like you do,
sometimes :)
Love to you